No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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