My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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