I smell stomach acid.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
