oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Bring me that man meat
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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