didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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