She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
