Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
