Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
