My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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