She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
