I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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