so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
