come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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