i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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