im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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