I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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