Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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