If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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