Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
