Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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