i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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