Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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