nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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