Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
