i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize