he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
