THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
