glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
