I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
