I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Pants are for mortals
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
