My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
