So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
