yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
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I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
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"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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