p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
