Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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