Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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