it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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