its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
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I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
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It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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