Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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