his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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