I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
