I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
