it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Two words: blizzard sex
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
