Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
