remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
