I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
