I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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