I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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