Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
