absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
