just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
