the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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