Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
