I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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