I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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