They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
