you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
