i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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