it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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