Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
