The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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