i used baking grease as lip gloss
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
