I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
