is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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