just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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